holy funness

so... skydiving yesterday...AMAZING.
not so scary, not enough time to get scared. it was madorama.
then. vids with rinny at home. madorama.
jacko's, with the sick year six's, mad. theyre tops heads.
then, went with smash and dave to see the view at hermanns, mad, also.

THEN... today, took corinna with a secret friend to a surpirse location... which turned out to be smash at max in paddington. it was... AMAZING. did a little bit of shopping in the pad, enjoyed muchos amounts. highly recommend. 5 stars.

live it. love it. peace out.

*sigh of relief*

finished work yesterday... forever....
well not work ever again. but work at marsh. where ive been working for the year. im done. and on holidays now. its great.
ive got an interview at college on the 29th of novemeber. so prayer for that would be grand i think.
just be chillaxing with rinny my lover for the next eon. should be mad sticks.
were going SKYDIVING next week. hooray. for rinny's 21st i got for her and me to go, but i thought it would be funner in the sunny, so we are waiting for a sunny day next week. pray for that too. hehe.
peace out. im going to... do nothing, cause im on holidays... or as its more commonly known.... umemployed...

i sent my application to college....

golly.... i sealed up the envelope, and it was the most stressful thing ever. my future, is now in the mail... but then i was kind of like... wait, God has already planned it, and He loves me, like a lot. and that made me feel relieved. and comforted. and blessed. a lot is happening hopefully soon, like, i will hopefully be starting college, starting a new job, going on holidays and doing lots of conventions and camps. im just seeing God work in tremendous ways, through my friends, through my family, through everything He has blessed me with, and through myself. i love when He gives me His perspective, even a glimpse, and i can see how perfect and intricate his plan is, and SO much better than anything we could ever imagine.

i like...

my friends.

my lady.

cell group.

my family.

thai food.

the real thing.

my house.

jackos.

dancing.

my car.

the beach.

my puppy.

chocolate cake.

sunday school.

beena.

will and grace.

my church.

the movies.

singing.

how hard is it to hold these things with an open hand. gosh.

a lyric

this ones a ripper, an old time fave. enjoy.

I’ve given up
I'm giving up slowly
I’m blending in so you won’t even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention
Is my one last shot at redemption
cause I know to live you must give your life away

And I’ve been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house all while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because

I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging you
I’m begging you
I’m begging you to be my escape

I’m giving up
I’m doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
And that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because

I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging you
I’m begging you
I’m begging you to be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt
And insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out
That might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because

I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging you
I’m begging you, I’m begging you to be my escape

I've fought you for so long
I should've let you in
oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was
Save my own skin
But so were you
So were you...

Profundities

adolescence is the awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible. although, i think adolescence, with this definition can take on a far greater scope of meaning. for instance, a person chooses to play with people slightly older, and the slightly older people lord their years over the slightly younger, with condescending, belittling and patronising remakrs and actions, rendering the person, effectively, too young to say something sensible, too young to be taken seriously, too young to be challenging or meangingful or genuinely concerned, yet too old to be the child, to old to be the centre of attention, too old to react to the lording over them of years by the slightly older. i think this situation, is an awkward age, between social groups, between generations, in which the "adolescent" is ultimately rendered incapable of having an entirely reciprocated relationship, emotionally, mentally or socially.